Oh god, guys. I spent at least six hours....no, not even, EIGHT hours on this thing.

This is a picspam mixed with facts and downloads for my inductees to bandslash, orangesky33 and sensations. For anyone who's been wondering what the HELL I've been talking about lately, this is a good time to click. (And for anyone who wants to see pictures of adorable boys. Really, who wouldn't?)



Okay, so. Pete Wentz. We’re going to start with Pete Wentz. This is because every single thing in the world these posts can be tied back to Pete Wentz. He’s kind of like Zeus in the pantheon of bandslash. Everyone else is either his child or his lover. (Or both. PETE IS KIND OF A PEDOPHILE, BUT WE WILL GET TO THAT.)

MEET PETE.


That’s Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, if you’re into full names.

Pete’s the lyric writer and bass player of a little band called Fall Out Boy. PERHAPS YOU HAVE HEARD OF THEM. (It’s not like I talk about them six hours a day, or anything.)


Pete’s from Chicago, which is more important than you’d think. If Pete is Zeus, Chicago is Mount Olympus.

Pete used to be in a band called Arma Angelus, in which much screaming was done. Pete really likes to scream, frankly.


See? Thumbs up for screaming, and also for nipples. Pete loves nipples too.

Arma Angelus Wiki

Pete also loves licking his own bass.


But fear not! He likes licking other people’s instruments too.

(Oh dear god, I just made masturbation AND blowjob jokes within the first ten pictures of this spam. Buckle up kiddies, it’s going to be a long ride.)

Pete meets Joe Trohman (the lickee in the above picture) at some point in the Chicago music scene and they decide to form a pop-punk band. Add Patrick Stump (vocals) and Andy Hurley (drums) to the mix, and you’ve got Fall Out Boy!

But back to Pete. He’s really, really pretty.


He also has amazing tattoos.


Wait, Shayla. You have forgotten HIS BEST TATTOO.

...Yeah. That one.

Pete got into a bit of a jam when pictures of what’s BELOW that tattoo were taken from his Sidekick and posted onto the internet. He’s over it, we’re over it, so let’s move on.


Alright, I didn’t say I was going to move on MUCH.


Honestly, I don’t feel so bad about the jokes anymore, since Pete has apparently decided to star in GUITAR PORN.


This is WentzFace. Pete would probably patent it and sell it if he could, but that would detract from the wonderful imitations we’ll see later on, so.






WentzFace happens a lot. The confusing thing about Pete is how he can be SO HOT and SUCH A LITTLE BOY at the same time. This is pretty much due to is his utter refusal to grow up.

Which results in ridiculous faces...




Clothing choices...








And films. Pete created what can only be called his own version of Jackass, Release the Bats, which honestly contains some of the most disgusting and horrific things I have ever seen. I LOVE it.

Notably, the film also features HeyChris, of the song “Grenade Jumper”. The lyrics “Hey Chris, you were our only friend, and I know this is belated but we love you back” are probably SERIOUSLY awkward now that Pete and HeyChris don’t speak. Oh Pete.


OKAY FINE. You’re freaking cute, we forgive you. (HeyChris doesn’t.)

Some people like to believe “Thnks Fr Th Mmrs” is about HeyChris, and the line “He tastes like you only sweeter” is about Patrick’s sweet, sweet package. (NOT THAT I AGREE WITH THIS OR ANYTHING.)

(Granted, Pete probably didn’t help the matter with this:

[] asked by Kelsey on 2006-09-06

so i couldn't help but notice Patricks bulge in various pictures...just how sweet is that boys package?

[] answered by peter on 2006-09-06

semi-sweet, but when you put it in cookies it bakes well

Yeah. We’ll get to the True Love of Patrick and Pete later on.


Pete seems slightly distressed that I’m revealing his secrets. Oh Pete. Your blog entries aren’t nearly as cryptic as you’d like them to be.


Pete’s totally wearing fangs in this picture, guys. It’s from the set of the A Little Less Sixteen Candles video. I find that INSANELY hot.




Honestly, his smile sort of melts my soul.












*snort* Yeah, I love performer!Pete, but those pants make me spontaneously combust into LOLLERSKATES.


Boys in bands really seem to love princess crowns. I don’t know.




Pete’s kind of a camwhore. And by “kind of” I mean “very much so”.


BUT SOMETIMES HE INCLUDES HEMMY!

Hemmingway is Pete’s adorable dog. We love him. Pete loves him. Joe loves him. We love Joe (and fine, Pete too). It’s a huge lovefest.






More Hemmy please, Pete.


Well, not if you’re going to be like that. Pete, have some respect for your pup. Lick me instead!


Okay, this is Fall Out Boy’s tour manager, Korean Tom Cruise. (Yeah, he’s got a real name, but that’s unimportant.) It should be noted that Fall Out Boy travels with a wide variety of people.

Such as Dirty.

TBH, I don’t know what Dirty’s actual job is, besides, you know, making a fool out of himself for kicks. As far as I can tell, Dirty has no shame, qualms about hurting himself, or boundaries. Naturally, Pete latched onto him.




I don’t even know, dudes. I don’t make the pictures, I just post them.

And now for something completely different! Pete loves monkeys.

Not just the stuffed ones.


He likes them so much, the entire Thnks Fr Th Mmrs video consists of monkeys and product placement.


Not that I'm complaining. *swoons*


The caption reads: “Wentz: I won’t type a word without my lucky pants”. My head now reads: “HAHAHAHAHA. What?”




Pete Wentz is going to be 40 years old and still doing this. I am so sure.


You can’t catch Pete Wentz? Okay, just because they haven't named a STD after you yet doesn't mean you should brag about it.

A few other important things about Mr. Wentz:

-Sometimes he’ll break your heart with his complete vulnerability. This picture is sort of an encapsulation of all things Wentz; ridiculous, heartbreaking, hot, etc. etc.:



-He attempted suicide in a Best Buy parking lot last year. The songs “7 Minutes in Heaven (Ativan Halen)” and “Hum Hallelujah” are about the suicide attempt and you can hear Pete himself talk about it in this interview.
-He has his own clothing line, Clandestine Industries. This is because Pete is trying to take over the world. Really.

OKAY PETE. I AM DONE WITH YOU.


(Yeah, alright, done with you FOR NOW.)

YAY GUESS WHO IT’S TIME FOR.

Patrick Martin Stump(h) is the vocalist, guitar player, musical genius, cuddly teddy bear, all-around amazing dude of Fall Out Boy. CAN YOU TELL HE IS MY FAVORITE?




Patrick is occasionally adorable, and when I say occasionally, I mean always.


Patrick loves hats, glasses, sideburns, and me. Okay. One of those may be a wish.


OH HIS FACE.


The only thing I may possibly love more than his face is his voice. It’s a thing of beauty. Seriously, has anyone checked for wings yet? HE IS UNREAL. Maybe the hat is to hide the halo.


Fine, it’s actually used to hide a bit of a bald spot. Oh, Patrick. Your insecurities make no sense to me, but I love you for them.


Patrick is a dork sometimes, but in such a self-aware, hilarious way. I just. I love this boy to PIECES.


One day, Joe discovers Patrick in a Borders music store and lets him know about the pop-punk band he and Pete are starting. Why? Because Patrick has a MAGICAL AURA OF MUSICAL TALENT. Obviously.


Pete comes over to Patrick’s house to check out this AMAZING ANGEL OF MUSIC, and Patrick is wearing an argyle sweater and black knee socks. No, let me repeat that. ARGYLE SWEATER. KNEE SOCKS. TO GET INTO A ROCK BAND.

Luckily, Patrick is freaking adorable, and also, as I may have mentioned, an ANGEL OF MUSIC.


(And he has really nice thighs)








Pete Wentz cannot resist.


Nor can I.


Air drumming! Oh, did I mention Patrick plays drums too? And about EIGHTY THOUSAND other instruments? Angel. Of. Music.






I want to eat his tummy. Wait, what?






I’m not really following a logical line for this one, I’m just posting my (gazillions) of Patrick pics. ANY OBJECTIONS?










In some countries, wearing another person’s name on your chest equals a desire to push them up against a wall and do dirty things to them. I’m just saying.








You can safely assume that everytime I post a Patrick picture, I make a high-pitched squealy noise out loud.




LOOK AT HIM. How is he real? Are you sure we aren't just collectively dreaming him up?


Oh, right. Suck me in with the adorable and then become THE SEX. Unfair, Patrick.


Patrick can't help his perfection. We forgive you, darling.




Patrick says the color is nice, but it doesn’t cover nearly enough of his head. Boo, Patrick! LET US SEE THE PRINCESS WITHIN.




*flail*











OKAY. This is me, stopping myself before the whole damn picspam becomes Patrick. I fully have over 300 pictures of him, so, you know, that would be disaster. Hot, hot disaster, but disaster nonetheless.

MOVING ON. Joe Trohman!

Joseph Trohman plays lead guitar for Fall Out Boy.


He's hilarity in a tiny Jewish box.


He’s also hot. In a stealthy sort of way.




Pete gives us the thumbs up on Joe. We laugh, because we don’t need PETE to tell us that Joe Trohman is awesome.


Joe plays a mean guitar. No, really. He hurts people with it. It’s alarmingly hot.




Joe may or may not be high in this picture.


He is, however, definitely high in this one. It's a hobby. Don't bother yelling at him, he'll laugh it off. Also I find it kind of attractive.


FLIP FLOPS. I’m using this in my theory on why Joe Trohman and Jon Walker should be best friends.


Joe loves Star Wars a LOT. This only adds to his appeal, when you’re me.




Joe also loves Hemmy. I TOLD YOU.


Apparently he also loves math? WHO KNEW.


This is a good time to mention that FOB was involved in a van crash a few years ago while on the way to shoot a music video. *points to debris behind Joe*




Joe Trohman was blonde at one point and spent eight hours in a dog cage for money. This is why Joe Troh >>>>> you.

In conclusion, I kind of want to be Joe’s best friend and make out with him a lot.

Andy Hurley

Andrew John Hurley plays drums like a MANIAC. I...I have this thing for Andy, okay. It's sort of quietly persistant.


Andy has no qualms about wearing a crown. Good for you, Andy.


I really, really enjoy Andy drumming. A LOT. You know what, I think I have a thing for drummers in general.


Andy is a vegan! I don’t know why I need to exclaim that, but I figured it would sound more exciting that way! Also, he looks excited in this picture!


Sometimes, Andy wears shorts. I endorse that.


And sometimes he doesn’t wear a shirt. I ENDORSE THAT AS WELL.


Andy’s sporting some Clandestine merch here. Pete loves using his friends as walking advertisements.


Andy has some pretty kickass tattoos. Dudes, I think if I meet him, I’m going to lick his arm. Somebody needs to restrain me.






Andy loves Lays!


And Mountain Dew!


And monkeys! (I’m not saying Pete looks like a monkey, or anything. EXCEPT HE KIND OF DOES? Oh hush, if Pete’s infiltrating the picspam, I can insult him. That’s the rule.)




Sometimes I think my AU with Andy as a ninja MIGHT NOT BE AU.


Sometimes Andy is adorable.






I don’t even know guys, I want to jump his bones right now. This picspam is turning me into a slut for EVERYONE. Gangbang plz?


HIPS. HIPS. ER. HIPS.


HAHA WHAT HOW DID PATRICK GET HERE?

Oh, Patrick wants me to talk about the TRUE LOVE OF PATRICK AND PETE. Fine, if you insist.

Pete/Patrick


Remember Pete? Okay, Pete kind of whores himself out a LOT, but at the end of the day, he just wants to take MySpace pictures with Patrick.


And check out his ass. Yeah, me too.


FURRIES? Oh dear.


Babies! This is one of my favorites. I don't really know why.


I personally believe Pete’s trying to get ketchup on Patrick’s shirt so he can take him into the bathroom and fuck him up against the sink. IT’S ALL IN THE SUBTEXT.


Okay, fine, subtext is kind of unnecessary in this fandom. Thanks guys!




It’s really, REALLY hard for me not to make a joke about Patrick’s mouth. You don’t understand.


STOP TEMPTING ME PETE. God. (Sidenote: PATRICKKKKK!)


...It’s like they’re trying to kill me.


Dorks in love!


It’s like one of those touristy pictures married couples take on their honeymoon. Oh boys.










I...I really think Pete’s hand is on Patrick’s ass. I’m not even kidding.




Patrick is TAKING OFF HIS BELT. Note: Angry!sex fic needs to happen more often.


♥

Pete especially loves talking about Patrick in the Questions section of the FOB website.

Do you ever wish that you were as drop dead sexy as Patrick is!?
Asked by Kate on 2005-05-29 00:27:00
no he is so sexy that i bet it burns him alittle bit on the inside. that scares me.
Answered by pete on 2005-05-29

Dear Pete, or whoever decides to answer this question..well or not answer...my friend megan says that if you listen to XO with just the right side of headphones theres no music so it sounds like Patrick is singing in her ear just for her...and i agree....try it sometome
Asked by Shannon on 2005-06-09 09:17:00
how about this. when i want patrick to sing in my ear i call him on the phone and he does it... boo and yah. oops. yeah i do that sometimes.
Answered by pete on 2005-06-10

Does Patrick have a nickname? If so what is it?
Asked by kara on 2005-06-12 23:02:00
rickster. von stump. sophmore strump. winchester snomp, lunchbox. cookie jar. healthbar. rick ta life. patty boy. dont ever call him these. they are mine.
Answered by peter on 2005-06-13

Hypothetically asking, Ok, what if one day you woke up and Patrick was not there. Would you be worried?
Asked by I Didnt Do It on 2005-06-14 19:59:00
it would make me want to disappear to wherever he was.
Answered by pete on 2005-06-14

How does patrick sing the emotion in the songs that u (pete) wrote.. Do you have to explain it to him or does he just know?
Asked by hope on 2005-06-15 20:37:00
me and patrick can finish eachothers sentences. this is what makes it so funny when people ask us if we care that you think the the other one is hotter or cooler, or how much everyone makes a big deal about who writes what or is where in photos. we don't care. that kid is my best friend and the rest of the world could blow up and fall out boy can break up and he still will be.
Answered by peterface on 2005-06-16

what kind of guitars do you play? And who is better Joe or Patrick
Asked by G String on 2005-08-04 20:49:00
patrick is the love of my life but i cant deny joes doggie style. they are both pretty good in bed i guess.
Answered by p on 2005-08-04

Peter, i think you need to have more respect for the other members of the band, like Patrick, i dont think he smells...and fob would be no where without him, or the rest of the guys! so please dont talk about him like that, it makes my heart hurt! thanks, love you guys!
Asked by GIGGLES on 2005-10-10 20:31:00
hahahaha. if you knew patrick you wouldnt say that. that kid is my best friend but not cause he smells like roses. cause he is just the best. dont worry about it. we'll be friends long after this thing is over.
Answered by peter on 2005-10-11

Pete, would you and Patrick be friends if Fall Out Boy never existed?
Asked by Kace on 2005-10-10 21:54:00
we would have to be friends. cause i dreamt him.
Answered by peter on 2005-10-11

just to but in, patrick seems shy off stage like in an interview or if us fans talk to him and hes not shy on stage or if hes w the band
Asked by court on 2005-11-11 01:51:00
patrick is shy or maybe quiet in general- notice how he doesnt talk on stage alot? thats not cos he thinks i am really cool. its because he is just a softspoken guy. its both on stage and off. not to butt in but hes my best buddy and i hoep you love him the way he is.
Answered by peter on 2005-11-11

i try to come up with all these cool questions for you to answer but you dont answer any. peter, i think that you should have 2 Q&A boards so that patrick can answer some questions and you could answer some questions. because i dont think you like me. i like you.
Asked by Kailee on 2005-11-11 13:41:00
patrick doesnt like the internet. but he likes me.
Answered by peter on 2005-11-11

Pete, If you were on a deserted island and had to choose between an Ipod full of your favorite songs or Patrick, what would you pick?
Asked by sara on 2005-11-13 15:13:00
trick question. patrick is an ipod full of my favorite songs.
Answered by peter on 2005-11-13

how come patrick never answers questions anymore? b.t.w. he is sooooooo cute!! i wanna marry him
Asked by muah on 2005-12-17 15:56:00
patrick never answered any on here. but he sleeps next to me on the bus and he breathes like a little baby at night.
Answered by peter on 2005-12-17

Heey , I am confused. I thought you wrote all of the songs?? Well i love the songs no matter what =D
Asked by |aura on 2006-03-13 22:49:00
i write the lyrics. patrick writes the music. we are in love and live in a castle in the sky. our next door neighbors are carebears. grumpy bear has a baditude. but i still heart him. i hope your life is as magical as ours is.
Answered by peter on 2006-03-14

go to quizilla .com search patrick stump and theres this gross story about patrick...........um....yeah
Asked by ashlee on 2006-04-08 18:35:00
patrick doesnt do gross things. his body is made up of kittens, saturdays, 70 degree weather, first kisses and butterflies. trust me, i cut that bitch open once to check
.Answered by peter on 2006-04-08

In 10 words or less what is your relationship with patrick and would you ever consider becoming the "tough Guy" of the group??
Asked by Anonomous on 2006-05-08 18:29:00
patrick is pretty much the only person on this planet that gets me. id be nowhere without him. we are a two man gang.
Answered by peter on 2006-05-09

Patrick reminds me of a cute little panda bear, what kind of animal does he remind you of?
Asked by Nikki on 2006-05-08 16:07:00
maybe a koala bear or something. he is cute but if you get close hes kinda got some vicious claws. besides i could see him sitting around just chilling and eating leaves all day- maybe you were right about the panda though. something cute and smelly.
Answered by peter on 2006-05-09

I just got done watching "Dead on Arrival" and I wanted to know how old was Patrick in that video? Back then he was hot but now he is HOTT!!
Asked by Allisyn on 2006-06-10 15:19:00
im not sure. they had delivered him to my door in a baby basket the stormy night before. the note on the basket said "amazing" but i didn't realize how true those words were until days later, thanks for adding the capslock, it really captured the feeling.
Answered by peter on 2006-06-11

all we hear are updates on Pete. Pete this. Pete that. Pete did this. Pete has that. what about Patrick Andy and Joe? What happened to them?
Asked by wheres fall out boy? on 2006-07-22 15:50:00
andy is deeply in love unfortunately we think it is with a comic book. he is in milwaukee withdrawal and eats at this one crazy vegan resturaunt every day. joe and dirty are pretty much a wrestling tagteam all weekend so far- joe is puppy sitter number one- as well he bought an old metallica shirt that might have cost like one million dollars. patrick is patrick. he is writing songs and just being his usual dreamy self. i know hes in the lab working on some sweet shit for the kiddies.
Answered by p. on 2006-07-22

Pete, on a poster my friend gave me, i noticed somethign written on your hand but couldn't figure it out. me and my friend stared at it all through world history (the class) and couldnt tell if it was an address or number. (and it wasn't a tattoo). so could you help us out here? much love xx
Asked by RockStarxFobxLovexx on 2007-03-22
it was the directions to patricks house, actually even more specific the directions to the zipper of his pants. hope this helps. ill meet ya there!
Answered by peter on 2007-03-22

Some of those answers are so adorable I want to cry. I'M NOT GOING TO LIE GUYS, I TOTALLY HAVE "PETE HEARTS PATRICK" WRITTEN ON MY HAND.

Um. Let's...never talk about that again.

Fall Out Boy


*smooshes*


HAHAHA. Oh MAN. Who told them to dance? Can this happen more often? IS THERE VIDEO?


Patrick’s shoes are the most important thing in this picture, although the fact that Pete’s SpideyCamWhoreSense is also in full effect is kind of awesome too.










Is...okay, maybe it’s just the shirt, but Joe looks pregnant in this picture. Seriously. MAYBE THIS IS WHY THE TOUR WAS DELAYED.


Sometimes, Pete is creepy for no apparent reason.




FOB and Family! Stop being so cute, guys. Leave some for the other bands.




Clearly, the question asked was “Who sneaks off for blowjobs in the back of the tour bus?” JOE IS SO KIND TO ANSWER!


You know, you think you’re going to stop laughing about this one at some point, but it never happens.














This picture both confuses and intrigues me.


Shhh. Leave them alone now, they need to get on with the sex sleeping.

Alright, look. As much as I love these boys for their personalities and looks and love for each other, at the end of the day, it’s all about the music. The music is what started the obsession, it's what gets me through the day sometimes. I...used to have download links here but they all expired and I am honestly too lazy to upload again, but I'm sure there are plenty of other primers/mp3 sharing communities where you can find them! OR BUY THEIR ALBUMS AND SUPPORT THEM, SINCE THEY ARE THE GREATEST.

Tune in tomorrow when Pete meets William Beckett and makes a decision that will FOREVER ALTER HIS FUTURE. Or something.