I'VE DECIDED, IN A CONVERSATION WITH KALA, THAT I WANT PATRICK/BRENDON FIC WHERE THEY'RE BOTH ASSHOLES, A LITTLE. Or a lot, whatever. Patrick/Brendon is one of my favorite rarely written pairings, and it could be so fucking hot. And Brendon's a douche and never calls, but Patrick's vindictive and sneakily bitchy, and it's just a hot mess. Y/Y?

LET'S TALK ABOUT BRENDON URIE AND LANA JADE TODAY, GUYS, BECAUSE IT'S THE COOL FUN THING TO DO.

Disclaimer: My opinions, as always, are pretty much worthless. I don't know anyone personally. I don't care to know anyone personally. I don't even know who the fuck Lana Jade really is. It's just fandom, you guys, and what the hell else are we going to do if we don't share our opinions on everything up to and including the gum stuck to Brendon Urie's shoes?

1. My reaction to the allegations is pretty much "Yeah, okay, I can see how that would be true." It doesn't surprise me that Brendon is a dick. It doesn't surprise me that Brendon is a drug user. It won't surprise me if everything is confirmed, and it won't surprise me if she turns out to be a liar. It could go either way, because uh, there's no real way to know for sure unless you were actually present. Or if there's video, which....I would pay thousands of dollars to see, no lie.

2. Brendon Urie being the kind of person who does mushrooms and is a complete ass to girls does NOT make me love him any less. However, it also doesn't make me love him more, because...it's a shitty thing to do. Yeah, guess what, these dudes do shitty things sometimes. They're not perfect. He's 20 years old. My dad has friends that were complete stoners at the ages of 20-24, who treated the girls they slept with terribly, and it really fucking sucked. There's no excuse for it, but it doesn't actually make them shitty people. It makes them stupid, and immature, and young. And things change, and like, eight years later, they're in steady relationships and holding down good jobs and only drinking on the weekends. Brendon's a moron, and an ass, but he'll grow up eventually.

3. Since, you know, Brendon never signed a contract to be a perfect role model for today's youth , and he certainly didn't sign a contract with me saying that he would always do EXACTLY what I want him to do, I think I'm going to skip the righteous indignation and betrayed feelings. Because, no.

4. There is nothing I hate more than the instant reaction of "LANA JADE IS A LIAR AND WHORE. BECAUSE SHE'S A GIRL, SAYING BAD SHIT ABOUT THESE BOYS." Yeah, Lana Jade is pretty much a moron, from what I can see, but that doesn't actually give Brendon the right to be horrible to her. And she's not automatically a liar, either, but she's also not automatically telling the truth. Also, a strange opposite double standard here I started thinking about: if Vicky T were on pot and mushrooms and not calling guys back after sleeping with them, would fandom consider her badass instead of a bitch? Because, uh, it's not really any better.

5. There's a small part of me that's like "....yeah, it's because he's fucking gay." But that's tinhatty and ridiculous. And also totally plausible.

6. Here's something I feel like I should mention: I've been friends with douchebags for a good portion of my life. I'm used to it, and people not being completely awesome doesn't actually bother me. I've got a really high tolerance for that kind of thing, I know. And I've got a high forgiveness threshold, because I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, hurt people I cared about. I understand it, but that doesn't mean I excuse it. I'm not giving Brendon leeway because he's Brendon, I'm treating this situation exactly the way I would if he were one of my friends. I completely understand any of you guys who are freaked out because you just found out Brendon Urie is the kind of person you hate in real life, and I respect that opinion! But changing your views in either direction because Brendon is In That Band? Yeah, that's pretty much ridiculous.

7. If people want to use this fascinating new piece of information for fic? That's awesome. I look forward to it.

8. In conclusion, fandom is not serious business. We don't have to take things personally. Brendon, Tom Conrad, the Cobras, whoever. They didn't sign up to play by our "rules" or fit into the personality boxes we've picked out for them. They're just people, guys.

TWO CENTS. OFFICIALLY THROWN IN.

I want to talk about bandslash a little right now. More importantly, how I FEEL about bandslash. Because it's making me so happy, you guys, but there's something that isn't, and I want to discuss all of it.

Yes, this is really long. No, you don't have to read it. But I have to say it.

I love the new Fall Out Boy video so very much. I think it's important and I think it's beautiful. I love these boys with EVERYTHING I have. I love that they're trying to do something good with their music, not just for their fans, but for the world. I LOVE THEIR MUSIC IN GENERAL. I truly think it's amazing. I love that you can actually hear the growth from EOWYG to IOH, both with the music and with Patrick's vocals. I love Pete's lyrics, and that you can find them sprinkled in his blog entries throughout the years. The lyrics come from his life. And yes, I find them poetic, and yes, they mean just about everything to me. Weeks that I don't listen to From Under the Cork Tree, I feel a little emptier inside. Infinity on High is, to me, the best record they've produced, but From Under the Cork Tree is what saved my life. I don't mean it saved me from death, I mean it saved me from not living. From being numb, and from not trying, and from not caring. It changed me and saved me and it'll never stop being my favorite.

I love the feeling, when you go to a Fall Out Boy show, the energy that's just tingling all around, ready to explode. And it does. When these four tiny boys get on stage, they're not so tiny anymore. Joe and Andy have PRESENCE, they're rocking out and giving it their all, and I have never seen Patrick look so confident, or Pete look so happy, as they look when they're on stage.

I love them all, so very very much, and THEY love each other so very very much. So what I don't get is, how there are Fall Out Boy fans that hate Pete.

( They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts.  )

I didn't know where I was going when I started this entry, but now that it's done, I can see what it became. It's a love note. To Pete. ♥