It occurs to me that people are possibly going to get really pissed off at me for my last post. And they're probably not going to say anything about it to me, actually, but they might talk about how stupid I am to other people. And that's bizarre, for me. It's strange to me when people actually like, really like me, but it's always even stranger when they don't. Except for a few notable examples where I did some really shitty things, I've always been a pretty mediocre person. I'm not especially awesome or original, I don't usually form enough of an important opinion about things to stand up and talk about them. I've never been sure of my own worth as a person, other than I'm essentially good and that I do deserve respect. So, realizing that I could maybe cause some kind of extreme reaction is bizarre. Realizing I could cause disdain, even, is bizarre.

journaltypos brought up an interesting point today because she's awesome like that. She asked me why I care so much. If I know Audrey is a horrible person, why do I care that people hate her? If she's essentially unlikeable, then why does it matter why people dislike her? And I had to start thinking about that, but in the end....the answer was easy. Maybe I'm just naive, but I do believe there are reasons to hate someone that are essentially wrong. And this is a really stupid way to prove a point, but. Okay. Let me bring up Brendon Urie, again. There are plenty of reasons not to like him, at this point in time. His disrespect for women, his drug habits, whatever. Perfectly valid. But if somebody starts disliking him because he grew up Mormon, for example, or because he enjoys anal sex....those are not valid reasons, to me. Religion. Race. Sexuality, which is both relating to sexual preference and harmless sexual habits. I don't think it's right to judge someone for these. This is just something I believe in.

And just because someone is a horrible human being doesn't mean the rules of decency go out the window. It's never okay to have a double standard the way fandom does. Brendon can run around half-naked on stage, feel himself up, and that's totally okay with you, but Audrey takes some pictures in a bikini top and that's not? Let's apply the rules fairly, or not at all. I know life doesn't work like this. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop believing that it should.

I know I'm not expressing this well at all. And I should seriously just stop talking about it, because I'm 18 years old, I barely contribute to fandom, and my opinions honestly don't mean much. They aren't well formulated, I can barely explain exactly what it is that makes me so passionate about this. But...it is my journal. And if I can't explain in some shaky way here that what people are saying doesn't sit right with me, where the hell else can I do it?

HAHAHAHAHAHA GOD GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO TALK ABOUT LIFE?

LET'S TALK ABOUT BRENDON URIE AND LANA JADE TODAY, GUYS, BECAUSE IT'S THE COOL FUN THING TO DO.

Disclaimer: My opinions, as always, are pretty much worthless. I don't know anyone personally. I don't care to know anyone personally. I don't even know who the fuck Lana Jade really is. It's just fandom, you guys, and what the hell else are we going to do if we don't share our opinions on everything up to and including the gum stuck to Brendon Urie's shoes?

1. My reaction to the allegations is pretty much "Yeah, okay, I can see how that would be true." It doesn't surprise me that Brendon is a dick. It doesn't surprise me that Brendon is a drug user. It won't surprise me if everything is confirmed, and it won't surprise me if she turns out to be a liar. It could go either way, because uh, there's no real way to know for sure unless you were actually present. Or if there's video, which....I would pay thousands of dollars to see, no lie.

2. Brendon Urie being the kind of person who does mushrooms and is a complete ass to girls does NOT make me love him any less. However, it also doesn't make me love him more, because...it's a shitty thing to do. Yeah, guess what, these dudes do shitty things sometimes. They're not perfect. He's 20 years old. My dad has friends that were complete stoners at the ages of 20-24, who treated the girls they slept with terribly, and it really fucking sucked. There's no excuse for it, but it doesn't actually make them shitty people. It makes them stupid, and immature, and young. And things change, and like, eight years later, they're in steady relationships and holding down good jobs and only drinking on the weekends. Brendon's a moron, and an ass, but he'll grow up eventually.

3. Since, you know, Brendon never signed a contract to be a perfect role model for today's youth , and he certainly didn't sign a contract with me saying that he would always do EXACTLY what I want him to do, I think I'm going to skip the righteous indignation and betrayed feelings. Because, no.

4. There is nothing I hate more than the instant reaction of "LANA JADE IS A LIAR AND WHORE. BECAUSE SHE'S A GIRL, SAYING BAD SHIT ABOUT THESE BOYS." Yeah, Lana Jade is pretty much a moron, from what I can see, but that doesn't actually give Brendon the right to be horrible to her. And she's not automatically a liar, either, but she's also not automatically telling the truth. Also, a strange opposite double standard here I started thinking about: if Vicky T were on pot and mushrooms and not calling guys back after sleeping with them, would fandom consider her badass instead of a bitch? Because, uh, it's not really any better.

5. There's a small part of me that's like "....yeah, it's because he's fucking gay." But that's tinhatty and ridiculous. And also totally plausible.

6. Here's something I feel like I should mention: I've been friends with douchebags for a good portion of my life. I'm used to it, and people not being completely awesome doesn't actually bother me. I've got a really high tolerance for that kind of thing, I know. And I've got a high forgiveness threshold, because I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, hurt people I cared about. I understand it, but that doesn't mean I excuse it. I'm not giving Brendon leeway because he's Brendon, I'm treating this situation exactly the way I would if he were one of my friends. I completely understand any of you guys who are freaked out because you just found out Brendon Urie is the kind of person you hate in real life, and I respect that opinion! But changing your views in either direction because Brendon is In That Band? Yeah, that's pretty much ridiculous.

7. If people want to use this fascinating new piece of information for fic? That's awesome. I look forward to it.

8. In conclusion, fandom is not serious business. We don't have to take things personally. Brendon, Tom Conrad, the Cobras, whoever. They didn't sign up to play by our "rules" or fit into the personality boxes we've picked out for them. They're just people, guys.

TWO CENTS. OFFICIALLY THROWN IN.